Session 18 - The Demonskar Ball, Part 2
June 13, 2009 - The Demonskar Ball continues, and concludes with an epic dance fight.
Cram decides to take no dance or etiquette lessons, and for his costume he gets a spiked devil outfit and wears his executioner's clothes over top. He buys an average black carriage and hires two strong humans to pull him to the Demonskar Ball.
At the Ball, the Stormhammers meet the rest of the people at the table:
- Thazienne, a young pretty human woman dressed in a simple but decorative gown. She is sitting at the table in the spot marked for "Geneth". She explains that she is a novice member of the local gemcutting guild, and the guild master Geneth didn't want to attend, so he ordered her to go instead. Being a new member of the guild, she couldn't say no, so...here she is. She seems reluctant to take part in the conversations happening around the table, and seems a little out of place.
- The Brady-Dipinshires, a pompous and overly decorated husband and wife. They look down their noses at the other guests at the table, and are all too quick to announce that they are distant cousins to the Hawkwinters. They do not seem pleased at their company, and once or twice whisper to each other about having to sit at a table of "brutes and merchants."
- Dalam, a middle-aged malf half-orc, well muscled and sturdy. Surprisingly cultured and polite (for a half-orc), he tells the party that he used to be a family bodyguard to the Hawkwinters before leaving Cauldron to start his own bodyguard business. Now retired, he is invited to the Ball every year because of his past service. He is drinking steadily when the Stormhammers arrive, and is telling exciting stories of his bodyguarding days.
- Tygot, owner of Tygot's Old Things. He greets the party warmly and is Dalam's primary audience, asking the half-orc many questions about the exotic places and things he's seen.
- Vortimax, owner of Weer's Elixirs. He seems in a foul and surly mood and looks both bored and impatient with the entire Ball. He nods briefly at the party as they sit down.
When everyone is seated, the Herald starts speaking when suddenly screams and shouts echo through the open windows from the streets below. Gradually everyone goes over to the windows to see what the commotion is. Down below, two burly humans are frantically hauling a burning coach up the street. They dump the carriage in front of the door and dive aside as flames burst out in every direction. The carriage door is kicked open and out leaps Cram, in full spiked devil/executioner outfit, wielding a terrible-looking (fake) axe. As the carriage continues to burn behind him, he hands the key to the carriage door to the nearest person, a horrified elderly female guest who had stepped out for some air, and tells her to "park it somewhere nice." As he strolls up to the entrance, the carriage crumbles and collapses into burning timbers behind him.
He tells the announcer to announce him as "DEATH IS UPON YOU!!" and he strides over to the Stormblades' table, takes a look at their outfits, and laughs. Then he walks over and sits down at the Stormhammers' table.
Redgorge Roast
After some stunned silence, everyone slowly turns back to the Herald, who announces that it is time for the main course - Redgorge Roast. The kitchen doors open and 8 servants start carrying out a gigantic glazed boar on a giant silver platter. As they make their way past the main table, one of the servants slips and falls and the platter starts to tip. Alek leaps up and catches the platter and hefts it easily. He calmly tells the servants to step aside and says he will deliver the meal for them. The stronger Stormhammers realize that the boar would be extremely heavy, and they are surprised Alek can so easily carry such an enormous weight. As Alek is putting the boar down, Cram casts ghost sound to make the boar say "don't eat meeeeee!" and everyone is startled, but then laughs. Todd stands up and bows, trying to take credit...so Cram ghost sounds again and makes it sound like Todd farted. Everyone looks at him, shocked, and he goes all red and runs out of the room.
Jamie: Roll to see if you like it! Mike: I'm totally going to roll a 17. (rolls a 17) Aw, I died of food poisoning!
While the boar is being cut and served, the effects of the bubbling cauldron drink start being felt. Of the Stormhammers who drank fully though, only Bonesaw starts to feel intoxicated. However, Dalam is fully drunk and obnoxious now and starts bragging about his wilder days in his youth. He brags that he could have easily carried the boar. Tygot chuckles, and Dalam challenges him to a contest of strength. Tygot turns to Huron and volunteers him instead, and Dalam agrees. Snake Eyes and Bonesaw also say they'll take part.
Thazienne says she saw a trash cart out in the alley that they could try to lift. Everyone says that is a good idea, even the Dipinshires, who seem eager to be rid of everyone else at the table. They remain at the table, as does Vortimax.
In the alley, the cart is half full of heaping garbage, and various bags and sacks full of trash are piled on the ground. Bonesaw says he will lift first, and steps forward and lifts the cart off the ground without too much difficulty. Dalam steps forward and starts rolling up his sleeves. While he is preparing, Thazienne whispers to Cram that they should convince the half-orc to let them also pile on the loose garbage sacks, so he'll tip over and spill garbage over himself. Cram thinks this is a great idea and they suggest it to him. Thazienne, Cram, Huron and Dalam piles the additional sacks of trash onto the cart, and miraculously all manage to avoid getting any on their costumes. Dalam steps forward and rolls three low rolls in a row. Struggling to get the cart off the ground, and being quite drunk, he leans back too far and tips the cart backwards, spilling its contents all over himself and covering himself with garbage. Cram and Thazienne laugh to themselves while Bonesaw and Huron help Dalam out of the garbage pile. Meanwhile, Snake Eyes steps forward to hammer throw the cart. After a few false starts, he manages to spin it around and toss it directly down the alley, into the smouldering remains of Cram's carriage. Dalam congratulates him on his might, and they go back. Dalam however is not allowed in because he reeks of trash and filth, so Snake Eyes runs him over to Orak's Bathhouse and wakes up Orak, and tells him he's there to take a bath and clean up.
EVENT ELEVEN - SPELLMASON SUNRISE The next course is a dessert fruit pie served with heavy cream, which everyone seems to look forward to. As the dishes from the roast are being cleared, Bonesaw (who is frequently looking over at Cora) spots the Stormblades in huddled conversation. Annah and Todd get up and leave out through a service entrance. Bonesaw runs over and sits down next to Cora and compliments her and flirts with her. He then asks her if they want to make out and leans in and tries to, but she pushes him away and points out all the people around watching. She tells him to meet her in the lobby after the last course.
Huron sees Bonesaw go over to the other table, and notices Annah and Todd exit. He starts sneaking through the crowd over to the door they left through, but Annah comes back in but doesn't notice him. She glares at Bonesaw when she spots him sitting next to Cora, and after he leaves she and Cora exchange heated words. Huron slips out the exit and tries to track where Todd went. He rolls a natural 1 followed by a natural 1 so he starts "tracking" Todd right out of the building.
While the Stormhammers are eating the dessert pie, the Stormblades get up. Cora then sits down again, but watches as Annah and Zachary come over to the Stormhammer table and starts insulting them and commenting on their crude manners, etc. Annah and Snake Eyes exchange insults, and he challenges her to a walk-off. She agrees to battle him soon, in the Demonskar Dance. After a few minutes of bantering, suddenly Annah grins and looks at Zachary, and they turn and walk back to their table. The Stormhammers sit back down and finish eating.
(cut to Huron trudging through a filthy sewer, holding up a lantern and squinting and plodding on)
EVENT TWELVE - CRATER CAKE
As the servants clear the dishes, Dalam sits back down at the table. He is soaking wet and his costume, while still dirty and ruined, now smells overpoweringly of a mixture of scents. He is still drunk and seems happy to be back at the table.
Lord Hawkwinter stands up and addresses the crowd. He announces that it is time for the fifth and final course of the night, Crater Cake, to celebrate the defeat of the demon army and the founding of Cauldron. He adds that like always, his lovely wife made it herself. The cake is brought out, a massive cake shaped like a volcano.
At this, Dalam gets a scared look on his face and says in a very loud whisper to the table: "Hmm, I dunno about this. Last year I just had a single bite of this cake and it made me puke! I'm gonna pass this time!" As the cake is served to the table the other table guests look at Dalam uncertainly and then hesitate before eating, waiting to see what the party does. Bonesaw gulps his down and leaps up and runs out into the lobby to wait for Cora. Cram gets up and deposits his slice of cake on the Stormblades' table, surprising them. Snake Eyes shoves his cake into the bag of holding, while Huron and Brigs eat theirs. Yggdrasil eats a small piece of his. To all, the cake tastes very good and nothing adverse happens, so the others at the table also dig into theirs.
(cut to Huron stalking through a winter forest, snow blowing all around him)
A few minutes later, a low rumbling and humming noise starts coming from Yggdrasil's belly. Everyone starts looking, and the rumbling is joined by a high-pitched whistling noise. To Yggdrasil's surprise, he starts feeling drunk, something that isn't possible. People are starting to look concerned, so he concentrates and uses his Warforged Resolve power and saves against whatever is affecting him, and passes. The noise and weird feeling stops, and he opens a vent and lets out some weird purple gas/smoke.
Bored because he's not eating, Dalam starts boasting about awe-inspiring things he's done. He tells the table he once bit the throats out of 5 ogres in a single fight. Vortimax snorts and says he waves his hand and 10 ogres die at once. Cram tries to intimidate the others, but doesn't do very well. Vortimax says he can fly around in the air and drop fireballs that kill 50 things at once. Snake Eyes tells them he once made a dragon burn down an entire town, and proves it by dominating Dalam and making him pretend to punch at Vortimax, who is impressed.
Dalam says he once was on an executioner block, but stopped the blade with his teeth, kicked the executioner in the stomach, then ran off through the crowd and excaped. Cram says that in his former career as an executioner, one prisoner stopped his axe, kicked him in the stomach, then ran off...but then Cram caught him in the alley and raped him. Dalam is horrified.
Cram then tells them that he owns a bag which, when you pull on the chain, leads directly to the afterlife. Stunned, both Dalam and Vortimax say "YOU HAVE A BAG THAT IS A PORTAL TO HELL??" Cram intimidates them both into conceding defeat.
EVENT THIRTEEN - THE CLASH OF ARMIES
Huron walks in the front door, boots covered in mud, snow all over his outfit, and sand pouring out of his pockets. The Herald announces that it is time for the historic re-enactment of the battle of Redgorge, where Cauldron's Founders pushed back and defeated the demon horde. Everyone stands and starts filtering up the ballroom on the second floor. Lady Hawkwinter gestures at Yggdrasil and leads him to a side room where he can put on his Aggannar costume and then enter the ballroom. Snake Eyes grabs his angel wings for his role, and he and the others head upstairs. Shensen excuses herself from the dance. Huron lines up with Ophella, Snake Eyes lines up with Annah, who glares daggers at him, Brigs with Skie, and Thazienne asks Cram to dance. Yggdrasil waits in the wings ready for his entrance, and Bonesaw says to Cora when she enters the lobby "No more words." and they start making out and go into a broom closet.
Everyone lines up and then the Herald announces Aggannar, who enters the room with an explosion of pyrotechnics (bolstered by the Light spell beaming from his eyes). The band starts playing some "custom" music Yggdrasil had given them, namely Mr. Roboto. His entrances goes on for a long time, as he robot-dances around the room and blasts light out of his hands. Cram assists him by creating smoke that billows around the dancers, and Brigs shoots a dazzling ray into the air causing miniature arcs of magic to jump and spark across the ceiling. Finally, Yggdrasil stops at the front of the room, and the Herald announces Spellmason - played by Zachary Hawkwinter II. Dressed as Surabar Spellmason and wielding a white staff, he steps in and walks up to Yggdrasil, and they lock weapons.
The others start to perform the Demonskar Dance, a complicated and fast-moving dance taking them all around the large ballroom. Huron notices that Todd is dancing with a repugnant noble, so Huron makes fun of him as they pass each other. Cram, being unfamiliar with the dance, stumbles once or twice but Thazienne saves him from falling. Meanwhile, Huron and Ophella trip and fall to the floor during the second chorus of the dance, causing those around them to laugh and point. As Huron gets up, he notices Todd dancing away with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Meanwhile, Brigs and Skie are dancing up a STORM and cannot be stopped. The other guests around them are staring in awe at their dancing display. Cram (does something, causes distraction). Huron dances up behind Todd, who is watching Cram. Huron swings Ophella at Todd (as in improvised weapon) and tries to hit him WITH her. He misses however and her legs go flying past Todd's head, who feels the breeze and turns, and backs down under Huron's furious glare.
During this time Annah and Snake Eyes are engaged in an angry dance-fight, with both of them trying to knock down and trip the other person. Snake Eyes knocks Annah down once, but Annah returns the favor by performing an exotic dance move and tripping Snake Eyes during it. She hums a dazing melody at him, but Snake Eyes counters by using a power to slide her back into another dancing couple. In the end he knocks her down and embarasses her more than she him, so he wins the "dance fight."
EVENT FOURTEEN - THE DEMONSKAR DANCE
Finally, the dancers clear the floor and line the walls, and Zachary and Yggdrasil walks down the stairs to the dance floor, "fighting" as they go. They each perform some dance checks to stay locked in combat, then Yggdrasil knocks back a step. Four founders "rush" at Yggdrasil with fake weapons, and grab his arms. Yggdrasil throws them off by spinning his torso around, then steps forward and knocks Zachary to the floor, causing the audience to gasp and clap. The music is still synth music substituted in by Yggdrasil, causing a huge buzz amongst the guests. The staff goes sliding across the floor to Snake Eyes, who panics and starts hurriedly putting on the angel wings. "Aggannar" slowly advances upon the sprawling "Spellmason" and stands looming over him...and waits...and the staff isn't handed back to Zachary. Forced to stall for time, Yggdrasil plants a foot on Zachary's clothes and slides him back across the floor, then rotates his torso and moonwalks backwards towards Zachary. This time, Snake Eyes is ready, and Huron throws him up into the air and he "flies" towards Zachary by swinging on the chandeliers. As he passes over Todd, he tries to poke Todd with the staff, but misses.
Snake Eyes lands by Zachary but take a long time handing the staff over, so Yggdrasil is forced to stall for MORE time and he does his by roaring and raising his hands to the audience. Finally Zachary gets the staff back and when Yggdrasil turns around, "Spellmason" smites him with the staff, causing magical illusory flames and sparks to shoot into the air. "Aggannar" falls to the floor and makes twitching motions. Zachary steps forward and puts his foot on Yggdrasil's chest and raises the staff triumphantly. The audience cheers and bursts into applause, and everyone rushes forward and starts congratulating and talking with Zachary and Yggdrasil.
- ending, dale shouting out WE'RE HEROES!!, badges - mark goes with skie, cram dances (slow dance) with thazienne - yggdrasil chats a while with shensen but then she leaves - huron, yggdrasil and snake eyes return to tipped tankard, bonesaw shows up later (1 hp and nursing a sore arm) - week passes, new members, jamie works on house, justin starts building church, etc...they realize cram is missing
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