The Cauldron Chronicle - Issue 02

The Cauldron Chronicle - Issue 02


Kidnapping Victims Saved, Underdark Slaver Slain
The recent kidnappings that have plagued Cauldron are now a thing of the past, thanks to the heroic actions of some brave strangers in town. After a grueling mission into the depths of a long-forgotten gnomish city buried deep underground our streets, this group of adventurers, currently unnamed, tracked down and killed the vile slaver behind the kidnappings, a monsterish troll creature named Kazmojen. The fiend was apparently selling his victims to evil slavers from the underdark - fortunately, these brave souls arrived just in time to prevent the four kidnapped orphans from suffering such a fate.

Gretchen, caretaker of the Lantern Street Orphanage, said that the heroes were “exactly what this city needs.” Furthermore, one of the heroes has found love with one of the kidnap victims! Morate Windwalker, a young dwarf cleric, announced his retirement from adventuring and plans to wed Morgana Splitstone, a local dwarf maiden who was kidnapped weeks ago.

The mystery that had stumped the entire city - how the kidnappers were unlocking the locks on buildings in town - turned out to be right in front of our faces. Master locksmith Keygan Ghelve was allegedly forced to provide Kazmojen’s minions with master keys to all the town’s locks. Details on how they ensured his cooperation are unknown at this time, but will likely become public knowledge at Ghelve’s trial in a few weeks. Lord Mayor Navalant personally thanked the adventurers for their deeds. Finally, citizens can sleep easy knowing that they will not be snatched away from their homes in the middle of the night.



Stormblades Collapse Tunnels
The Stormblades accompanied local wizard Vortimax Weer underground yesterday to permanently destroy tunnels leading to a recently-rediscovered underground gnomish city, at the request of the Lord Mayor.

“After some research into the matter, we discovered that the city of Gnomeregan was abandoned after a magical plague ravaged its people. Therefore I believe it is wise to swiftly and permanently close off the tunnels leading to the city before any dangerous magics rise to the surface.”

Cauldron’s most prominent young heroes accompanied local wizard Vortimax Weer, to guard Weer and ensure that he would have enough time to cast the powerful magics needed to destroy the tunnels and stairways.

Annah Taskerhill, leader of the Stormblades, said that in addition to sealing off any dangerous magic, that it was also important to make sure foul creatures from the Underdark did not have ready access to the city. “It’s a good thing we’re around,” said Taskerhill. “Cauldron was exposed to all sorts of potential danger from below due to some people not finishing what they started.” When questioned who she meant, Taskerhill declined to elaborate, but added that some things “should be left in the hands of professionals.”



Flood Festival Preparations Continue
Preparations for the Flood Festival are almost complete! This year’s festivities are shaping up to be the best in the Festival’s 32 year history! In addition to the physical competitions planned by the Temple of Kord, the Church of the Raven Queen has also announced nightly displays of magical entertainment, and special midnight communions with the dead where citizens can speak to loved ones who have passed on. The winter rains are likely only a few weeks away, so be sure to prepare your homes for the weather!



Counterfeit Coins Still Circulating
More reports have arisen about the counterfeit coins circulating throughout town. Guard Captain Skellerang reminds all citizens that these coins, easily identifiable by the jester’s mark imprint, are not legal currency and must be reported to authorities at once. However, many citizens have stopped turning them in to the guard, as the coins are confiscated and the fake coins are not replaced with legitimate ones.



Tax Increases Announced
In the latest town council meeting, the Lord Mayor announced a tax increase on all merchants and vendors in Cauldron, effective next year. Chancellor Alahind was strongly opposed to the decision, but was overruled by the Lord Mayor. Whispers around town are that many of the business owners are very displeased with what they call an unnecessary drain on their incomes.



Construction Begins on Raven Queen Cathedral
The Church of the Raven Queen has started construction on their cathedral of a manificent tower extending into the sky. Head Priestess Embril has called the new addition to the cathedral “the bridge that adjoins the earth to the heavens, so that the departed can make their journey in peace.”



Paladin Coming Home
Cauldron’s most honorable bachelor is returning home! Paladin of Bahamut Alek Tercival sent word via messenger last week that his travels are drawing to a close, and he should be home in time for the Flood Festival.



On This Day...
It was on this date 10 years ago that Zenith Splintershield led a squadron of warriors into the Underdark to cleanse it of evil, but nothing was heard from them again. Take a moment today to remember their valor.

C01SE05 - Bulls and a Beholder

Session 5 - Bulls and a Beholder

October 4, 2008 - The party dispatches Kazmojen but then encounter a surprising adversary.


At pretty much the same time, Eastwood showed up, having caught up to the party. On the way down, he had met another adventurer who was trying to save the children, an archer named Barthalemue.


ALSO at the same time, two MINOTAUR ADVENTURERS arrived on the scene, cutting down a hobgoblin guard as they appeared. They introduced themselves as Sir Steven (a favoured soul of Kord) and Moeesha (a female minotaur fighter). They briefly introduced themselves and said they too were here to find the children. This statement was followed by Moeesha pondering aloud if they could eat the dead hobgoblin.


Huron & Eastwood crept up to the big stone doors and tried to listen, but then Ramon and Heinz ran up and kicked in the door.


Inside they saw a large, hulking half bugbear, half troll which they knew was Kazmojen. There was a large, fanged dog-like beast at his heels. He was talking to a human-sized figure in dark red robes. Also in the room were two hobgoblin archers and two hobgoblins armed with swords. When the party kicked the door in, Kazmojen and the robed figure were arguing over the price for one of the children from town, who was manacled and being held by Kazmojen. The robed figure was offering 100 gp for the boy, and had a bone box with coins in his hands.


Kazmojen interrupted his bargaining and whirled on the party, asking what they were doing here. Threats were exchanged, confusing non-threats were shouted that no one understood, and the fighting started shortly afterwards. Kazmojen tossed the child, unconscious, behind him when the fighting began.


Some highlights from the fight, which lasted 4 or 5 rounds.

- Steven summoned a giant fire beetle that gnawed on Kazmojen's ankles fairly ineffectively the entire fight.
- Huron cast heat metal on Kazmojen, which heated his armor red hot, and then white hot, but didn't affect his axe. Kazmojen eventually got enraged about the hot metal of his full plate burning him and he tossed his axe aside and shredded it off.
- Huron also summoned a black bear which bit Kazmojen on the arm (and got burned by the hot metal). It was killed quickly.
- Heinz immediately charged at one of the archers, raging as he went, and pretty much cut him down in a single blow. He then looked at Kazmojen, who responded by raging, charging over and injuring Heinz horribly, and then looking down at him. They fought most of the battle.
- The howler was completely ignored the entire fight until the end, despite it howling twice and giving out a bunch of -3 penalties to hit.
- Moeesha, Huron, Steven and Ramon were all fighting the same hobgoblin. Moeesha critically fumbled and missed the hobgoblin, butchering Huron and dealing 19 damage...probably the most dealt the entire fight. The hobgoblin burst out laughing when this happened. Moeesha then DESTROYED the hobgoblin in a later round, cutting it in half and then facekicking its head off.
- At one point Ramon ran up to the robed figure, who had put away the bone box and was standing there, watching. Ramon slashed him, and the robed figure responded with a flurry of claw and bite attacks, as well as a POISON BEARD STING.
- Ramon threw a bag of 5 acid flasks in the robed figure's face, who was horribly burned. Two Face jokes were made. It turned invisible and ran out of the room. Huron and Ramon chased it, but found only enlarged footprints and burst-out-of robes...and the bone box nearby. Huron took the box, Ramon took the coins (100 gp).
- Eastwood knocked one of the hobgoblin swordmen out with a headbutt, then crushed its throat with a foot stomp as he ran off.
- When near death, Kazmojen tried to attack Huron for causing him so much pain with the heat metal spell. Heinz dealt him a mortal wound as Kazmojen rushed away, but he still attacked with a called bite shot to the face (needed a critical hit roll to hit) but missed.
- One of the archers lost his nerve and activated something on a pillar in the room, opening a secret door. It ran off through the secret door.


After the battle, Moeesha and Steven started hacking and chopping away at Kazmojen's body, noticing that it was still moving and regenerating. Eventually they realized that the burn wounds from the hot armor were not regenerating, so they used the torches on the wall to light it on fire. Steven shoved a lit torch up Kazmojen's ass...which astonishingly (natural 20) clenched together and snuffed the fire out. Steven turned his greataxe sideways and started hammering the burned-out torch farther up Kazmojen's ass. The others lit the body on fire with more torches, while Eastwood grabbed the severed head.


Also:

- Steven gathered up the broken remains of Kazmojen's armor.
- Huron took the half-burned hands of Kazmojen and nailed them to his shield.
- Eastwood grabbed Kazmojen's greataxe (which he later traded to Steven for 100g.)


Barthalemue went to check out the room where the hobgoblin archer ran off to - he found a room of prison cells with 3 other children, who were panicked and hysterical. There was also a swinging door at the other end of the room. Eastwood joined him, and amazingly had a list of the missing children, which he used to call them by name and calm them down.


In contrast, the rest of the party woke up the manacled child, Terrem, who was similarly panicked. The party "calmed him down" by Steven picking him up and cradling him in his arms while rocking him and mooing in a slow, low comforting manner. Also, Huron suggested summoning a ferocious attack eagle so Terrem could pet it. The party looked at him, and told him he could summon non-fighting animals with his summoning spells too. He then suggested summoning a hawk. Finally they told him to summon a penguin, and it worked - Terrem calmed down.


The party joined Eastwood and Barthalemue in the prison and used the black iron key Ramon had taken off a dead hobgoblin guard. They also looked out the door to see if the hobgoblin archer was still around, but the tunnel was blocked from the fleeing hobgoblin activating a cave-in.


They set off back to Cauldron but were stopped short by a whirling black vortex forming in the middle of the landing. Everyone noticed except Steve, who was inspecting a piece of Kazmojen's broken armor. He looked up when he was about to walk into it, and tossed an arrow through. Nothing happened...and then a hideous spherical monster with a large central eye and numerous writhing tentacles with eyes on the end appeared. (A beholder.) It surveyed them all, until it noticed Terrem at the back. It demanded that they turn over Terrem. The party refused, though were nervous and didn't know if it was real or what. Steven attacked, and the beholder hit him with an eye beam that tossed him across the room. The party still hesitated. After some more threats, Huron took out some manacles and went and put them on Terrem, who was motionless/speechless with fear/shock/etc, saying he was going to hand them over. Instead he dashed across the room for the exit "Two-Face" had taken, but was hit with an eyebeam that made him move in slow motion. The beholder then said it would give them 200 gp for Terrem, but Moeesha, Ramon and Barthalemue attacked. A slew of eyebeams - Moeesha was burned and tossed across the room, Ramon was put to sleep, and Barthalemue lowered his bow and backed off. The beholder disintegrated the manacles with an eyebeam and turned back to the dais as the boy levitated up and was brought along. They vanished.


Brushing himself off from where he was thrown against the wall, Steven realized that while the eyebeams seemed authentic beholder, he had never heard of a beholder being able to magically levitate things without shooting an eyebeam at it, nor being able to teleport.


The party gathered themselves up and went to see Yothob. They showed him Kazmojen's head, and he gave them Stargloom back, as promised. They told him about the beholder but he didn't seem to believe them.


They returned to the Church of St. Cuthbert where they were welcomed by Jenya. It was late, so she put the children to bed and asked the party to return them to the orphanage in the morning. She also gave them a reward of 3500gp, not the full amount of 4000gp because Terrem was not rescued.


While commenting on how stupid building a city in a volcano is because of flooding, Steven got into a brief conversation with a priest who told the party about the Flood Festival and how it was coming up in a few months.


The next day they took the kids back to the orphanage, where Gretchen thanked them for rescuing the other three children. Brief pause. They asked her "the OTHER children??" and she told them that late last night, a veiled woman had brought Terrem back to the orphanage. They rushed in and confronted him, but the last thing he remembered was getting ready to leave the prison with the other children, and then being escorted down the street by the veiled woman. When asked about her appearance, he couldn't tell them much other that she was wearing red robes and a red veil (like Ramon's ninja mask, he pointed out). He didn't remember anything about a beholder. The party hmm'd but couldn't figure anything out. They went back to Jenya to get the rest of their reward, which Jenya happily gave them. She also told them the mayor wanted to thank them personally.


Huron: ...that sounds sort of kinky.


After putting on their "nice clothes" (except Huron and Eastwood), they headed to the town hall and found themselves in a little waiting area with an oldish man (around 50 years old) who introduced himself as Alahind, the mayor's advisor. They waited a few moments, and then door opened and five adventurers came out and Alahind went in. The five adventurers were led by a beautiful half-elf female, the others were all human - a scarred and muscled female, a weaselly looking man, a handsome man with shining blonde hair (Lancelot-esque), and a man with short cropped hair who seemed not as comfortable in his fancy clothes as the others.


They were very well dressed, with shining cloaks etc. The half-elf looked down her nose at the party and asked if they were here to clean out the gutters. Steven responded by sniffing the air and saying "Smells like SODOMY!" to which everyone laughed. Four of the five were deeply offended and stomped out of the room, except for the scarred female, who laughed loudly before following. Steven said to her "You're making me into a Max-otaur." She replied with "Are you half cow or half bull?" and gave him an inquiring look before the others came back and pulled her out. Steven grabbed her ass as she left and Lancelot angrily told him not to do that again. There was a bit of a scuffle (not really much of one) and he left in a huff...but not before Ramon pickpocketed a platinum holy symbol of Kord from him.


Alahind came out and kind of rolled his eyes about the group, the Stormblades. He said that they mean well but think they're more important than other people. The party went in to see the mayor, who introduced himself as simply The Lord Mayor. They noticed a strong family resemblance between the mayor and the uncomfortable Stormblade member, but didn't say anything. The Mayor was a bit bumbling and clueless, and after some small talk about what they wanted for a reward.


Mayor: So, what would you like for rescuing those poor children
Jennifer: Rimjobs?


Alahind brought in an ivory box. Huron's eyes lit up and he had to sit down to contain his excitement. Inside were 7 silver rings, each one with a silver circle with a small red flame inscribed on it. Alahind told them that while wearing one, one would be able to detect the location of anyone else also wearing one of the rings. In addition, each ring could heal up to 12 hp per day, but only to the wearer. If the wearer falls unconscious or starts dying, it auto-activates.


The party ended the session by planning for the future and buying stuff. Steven found a blacksmith and got him to repair Kazmojen's armor into +1 full plate for 300 gp. He also bought enough raw material for his one-horned helmet, which he crafted.


Experience points awarded: 1000 to level 2 chars, 850 to level 3 chars

C01SE04 - Between an Ogre and a Hard Place

Session 4 - Between an Ogre and a Hard Place

June 21, 2008 - The party battles their way into the depths of Kazmojen's fortress.


Huron, Pimchi and Ping Pong, on their way back from the secret treasure room, find another secret door in the hallway outside. They open it and barge into the forge, accidentally hitting Lord Humphrey with the door, who had just finished his "four sword shuriken" masterpiece and was walking over to show Morate, who was resting in the corner. The party watches, stunned, as Humphrey tumbles back into the open forge fires, knocking over the barrels of scummy water onto himself, simultaneously smelting and quenching himself into a man-sized blackened husk.


The party rests. IN THE SAME ROOM.


They wake, and decide to go through Yothob's chamber. He warns them not to go to the west side of the adjoining room, because when the skulks were initially exploring the ruins, one of their number was crushed by an invisible force on that side. They fled and it has been off-limits ever since.


The party goes into the room, which appears empty. Huron tosses a rock over into the west half, and it clanks off something metal in mid-air. There is then the whirring sound of gears and servos coming to life. Ping Pong throws his remaining half a bag of flour at where the rock bounced off, and the billowing cloud reveals an automaton, but this one with a massive maul hand and no "sonic" hole in the front. It slowly activates and advances. Ping Pong runs away back to Yothob's room.


Meanwhile, Huron sees that a bit of flour landed on something else behind the machine. He then takes out the dust of dryness pellet and throws it at the automaton, and the pellet explodes into a flood of water which crashes around the room, knocking the machine off its feet and spilling into the hall and Yothob's room. It also reveals and knocks down the second invisible figure, a gnome who starts coughing and sputtering up water.


The party attempts to destroy the automaton, but their attacks keep bouncing off its metal shell. Huron abandons his weapons and picks up a giant rock and starts bashing the machine with it. It then CRUSHES Huron with a mighty blow, taking him out of the fight in a single hit. Meanwhile, Morate helped the gnome up, and the gnome tries helping them, eventually remembering that these machines obey voice commands spoken in gnomish. He shouts out a stream of "stop" commands in gnomish, and when he shouts out "HALT" the machine grinds to a stop. Morate heals Huron, who continues smashing the machine with the rock.


The gnome introduces himself as Thrust "The Crusher" Splathappy, a gnomish courier who works (worked) in Gnomeregan. He is surprised and shocked to learn of what's befallen his city, and he doesn't believe it at first (but soon realizes by looking around that SOMETHING has happened and he's clearly been out of it for a while.)


They return to the rooms they rushed past earlier. They go into the alchemy lab and are immediately attacked by another pile of rags, but it fails to do much at all. They search the room and find some antitoxin and universal solvent, and an intact high-quality alchemist's lab which Thrust estimates to be worth 480 gp.


They briefly explore the room Pimchi firebombed, but find nothing other than some burned centipede husks and empty nooks/shelves in the wall. Oddly, the room is filled with an ever-present thick mist that prevents them from seeing anything - instead they have to feel their way around it.


They decided to explore the rest of this floor later, and return to Yothob, poking around an old woodshop on the way back. Huron finds a bunch of valuable gemstones in a chest.


They ask Yothob for directions or a guide to the lift leading down and to Kazmojen. He calls for a skulk, who leads them through the invisibility room and into a strange large chamber with illusory trees, bushes and birds chirping. The skulk seems unconfortable in the room, and after some brief exploration they continue on.


They pass by a bathing pool room, and see a body wrapped up in spiderwebs dangling above the pool. Fresh water is being fed into the pool through a spout on the wall. They ask their guide, who says the body is the skulk they sent into the room to check it out. That happened, so they marked the room as dangerous and haven't gone back since.


(note: did the party enter the bathroom?)


The skulk takes them to a locked iron door, and tells them that the lift (and the 2 guards who guard it) are through the door and down a hall. The party debates asking the skulk to pretend they are prisoners and trying to fool the guards, but in the end decide to just go in. The skulk unlocks the door and leaves.


Ping Pong and Huron position themselves to attack as soon as the lift door is opened. They converse briefly with, and then ambush two hobgoblins in the room beyond. (A circular room with heavy wood floor).


The two hobgoblins manage to pull a lever in the wall before the party downs one and injures the other. The remaining hobgoblin then "turtles" in the corner, blocking their every attack. The lift starts to descend, and finally Huron gets pissed off and just grabs the shield and yanks it away. The hobgoblin then immediately surrenders. They question it quickly as the lift descends - it seems unwilling to betray Kazmojen. They decide to tie it up and then...takes its javelins, stick them into the chute wall above the exit, and then place its tied-up form on the javelins so it's on a javelin "shelf" above the door.


Outside the lift the walls are made of black, shiny stone. The chamber has two 5 ft x 2 ft metal cages hanging from the ceiling by thick iron chains, dangling about 5 ft above the floor, a strange spiky stone sculture inbetween the cages, a regular wood door and some double doors. Ping Pong decides to scout and sneaks stealthily through the room to the double doors. Each one has a sliding viewhole - Ping Pong, worrying about noise, messily splashes the peephole with oil to grease it. And critically fails. So when he slides it open it makes a horrible SCREEEERRREEEEIIIIIIIICCCCHHHHHH" noise.


The hobgoblins inside, however, do not hear, because at that very moment one of them sneezes loudly (critical fail on listen check). One however thinks he's heard something, and starts looking around. Ping Pong desperately pulls out one of the light steel shields he was carrying and puts it up against the eyehole, hoping that the hobgoblin won't notice the difference. Before he put the shield up he saw four hobgoblin guards, two with bows and two with sword & shields. There was also a nine foot tall statue of a dwarf in the center of the room, draped with a lot of spiky, barbed chains.


Seeing his predicament, Huron stealths through the room and approaches the wood door. He sneakily opens it a crack...only to see an ogre humming to himself inside, its back to Huron. Huron gently closes the door in fear.


Ping Pong watches Huron, and while looking back into the room spots a strange discolouration on the wall halfway through the room. He gestures at it to Huron, who scuffs his feet and makes a bit of noise as he runs over. This awakens the weird stone sculpture in the middle of the room, who lashes out at Huron with long, earthy stone spikes.


What happens next is very chaotic and frantic. Thrust ghost sounds voices saying in giant "______", hoping to enrage the ogre, who after struggling with the Hold Portal-affected door, smashes through and tumbles to the ground, rolling right into the one hobgoblin who heard the noise and has come to investigate.. His momentum is so great that he doesn't enough notice the greased area in front of the door (also from Thrust, a grease spell). The ogre gets up, exchanges uneasy glances with the hobgoblins, and turns to go back to his room...and slips in the greased area and falls to the ground. The hobgoblin makes a save to stop himself from laughing...and critically fails. The ogre is furious and gets up and starts attacking the hobgoblins, and the battle quickly carries back into the hobgoblin room, where all four hob guards are frantically trying to fight back. They shut the iron door but the ogre just charges through it, knocking the door off its hinge which flattens one of the hobgoblins. The ogre tumbles into the room and knocks over the statue of the dwarf, and the chains animate and come to life, lashing out at the ogre with iron hooks and spikes.


Meanwhile, Huron is booting it down the secret hallway, with Morate following close behind. It opens up into a small armory with weapons and armor, and then a second secret door opens into a large forge area, with three goblins working by an anvil with a shackled female dwarf. Two shackled halflings are on the floor piecing together chain links. Huron and Morate charge in and pulverize the goblins, including Huron bodily picking one up and hurling it into the white hot forge flames. The female dwarf tries to help by throwing the javelin she was working on but she misses. The last remaining goblin tries to flee but the halflings throw the chain shirt on the ground in front of it (or in its face, I don't remember) and prevent it from getting away.


Thrust and Ping Pong have stayed behind to watch the ogre fight. The ogre is winning handily but the chains are scoring some small hits and the hobgoblins are surviving. That is, until the animated chains score a critical hit and rip off half the ogre's face, causing it to fly into a berserk rage. (However its rage would prove to be a bad thing, as because it was full power attacking each round, it missed every swing from that point on except one, which will be addressed momentarily).


Ping Pong sneaks into the ogre's room during the confusion. It's a mess, full of smashed furniture and junk, but there is a large chest in the corner. Ping Pong tries to pick the lock but fails. He goes back to the doorway just in time to see one hobgoblin scrambling away from the ogre's rage. The hobgoblin, wounded, sees Thrust and grins, seeing a supposedly easy target. It draws a shortsword and limps towards Thrust, only to be cut down from behind by Ping Pong emerging from the ogre's room.


The ogre is slowing now and bleeding from a lot of wounds, but only one of the other three hobgoblins is left. Ping Pong charges into the room and kill-steals the last hobgoblin from the ogre. The ogre, seeing Ping Pong and the chains, swings randomly (50%) at one of them...and crits. It DESTROYS the chains with a massive blow that, if it had been directed at Ping Pong, would have killed him instantly. Ping Pong finishes off the ogre and starts looting.


Thrust rejoins Huron and Morate as they talk briefly with the prisoners. The female dwarf tells them that Kazmojen's main hall is just around the corner, through a four-way hall/intersection. Huron cracks the door open into the hall but doesn't see anyone,


Meanwhile, Ping Pong opens the door in the dwarf-statue room, which actually opens up into the same 4-way hallway, but he is looking the other way from Huron. He ducks back out of the way as two hobgoblin archers across the hall nock arrows and shout in alarm. To the side, Huron hears this.


One of the hobgoblins ducks through the door it is guarding, and muffled hasty discussion can be heard, followed by a loud grating voice "You handle it, I'm busy." The hobgoblin returns to the fight. It's a very short fight though, as Thrust, Morate and Ping Pong all unleash ranged attacks at one hobgoblin, and Huron criticals the other one with a spear, actually decapitating it and sending the bloody head bouncing into the room beyond.


Experience points awarded: 700

Other random quotes:

C01SE03 - Flying Brains

Session 3 - Flying Brains

May 24, 2008 - The party cuts a swath through the first floor of the gnomish city and cut a deal with the Skulk leader.



(Jeppy is now Pimchi Also, Artanis never existed. Ishmael...is just gone. These changes are a result of Corey slightly changing his character, and Jamie and Shaun making entirely new characters.)


Blaze Carter and his friend he met while traveling in eastern lands (who he calls Ping Pong) have arrived in Cauldron and because of Blaze's history, he wants to try to find the missing children as well. Jenya tells them of the party and they head over to Ghelve's Locks to meet the rest of them.


Also meanwhile, Lord Humphrey spots Blaze walking through the streets and sees that he is carrying a net and a whip. Seeing what he assumes is a fellow weapon expert, he decides to follow and talk to him. He sees them enter Keygan's store, and sees two other adventurers also headed for the door. He decides to rush past them and enter first.


Humphrey dynamically enters the room, stares around and comments "...this isn't the weapon shop!"

Mike (as Humphrey): I NEED...A LOCK!!

Huron convinces Keygan to get him a hunk of cheese. After a few moments of confused/awkward silence, the two adventurers who were outside enter. Both are half-elves, and say they were sent from Jenya to check on the progress of the investigation. The party vaguely conveys that they've found out about Keygan/the Skulks. They ask if everyone here is planning on going down to find the children, everyone says yes. Satisfied, they say that because of Keygan's involvement they have to take and arrest him. As they lead him away, Keygan asks the party to please rescue Stargloom. One of the two half-elves say his name is Ario, and they can ask for him at the barracks when they are finished.


The party heads down the stairs into the abandoned gnomish city.

DM: Do you have Quickdraw yet?
Corey: YEAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Approaching the bottom, they hear chirping and rustling leaves and other nature sounds. They find a room with two circular gear doors to the south and a passageway across the room, with a dozen large copper masks shaped like smiling gnome faces adorning the walls. One of the gear doors is slightly open, and Pimchi dashes up and hurls an alchemist fire through the opening. There is a fwoomp of fire and two agonized shrieks, and the door flies open and two skulks (now on fire) stumble out. The party cuts down the first one and the second drops his weapon and raises his hands...and the party cuts him down too.


However, they don't kill the second skulk - instead Blaze manacles his hands behind his back and Pimchi ties his legs together with rope. He then loops & ties the other end of the rope around his own waist. Other than the now-burned, tattered old cloak around its neck, the skulk is completely naked.


Meanwhile, Ping Pong has been trying to yank a mask off the wall but keeps failing.


The two southern rooms contain small cots and empty footlockers. While searching the room, the party is startled to hear a magical voice come from one of the masks (though the mask's mouth doesn't move) say "If you've come to plunder, beware The Vanishing." In retaliation (?) Humphrey and Pimchi grab a footlocker and smash it into the mask, destroying the face. They also find a secret room containing some gnome sized-equipment and mining picks. There is also a suit of gnomish half plate, which Pimchi dismantles to find "armor" for Pig. There is also a silver bracelet which Pimchi puts on, and a pouch with three citrines.


The continue on and find a series of empty bedchambers. They come across a locked gear door, and although the hallway continues south, they decide to go through the locked gear door. Ping Pong fails to pick the lock, and then tries to disable it by pouring acid into the mechanism, which just ruins it. So they grab the heavy pick and light picks from earlier and start bashing down the gear door. After 1-2 hours they FINALLY bash down the door, which falls through and...falls 20 feet down into a pit. Inside is a 30 foot long hallway with no floor but instead a 20 foot pit. Across from them is another gear door.


Pimchi checks for dangers by lowering the unconscious skulk down to the floor. Seeing no hazards, Ping Pong climbs down and climbs up to the lip of the doorway on the opposite side. In an amazing display of dexterity, he launches himself up into the air, opens the door mechanism and swings the door aside while in mid-air, and then lands in the now-open doorway.


The others start coming across. Meanwhile, Ping Pong examines the room he is in. There's an elevated landing with a throne, with a sleeping gnome wearing a silver crown sitting in it, snoring. On either side of the throne are tall pillars reaching up to the ceiling, shaped like a series of gnomes standing on each other's backs. Ping Pong rushes forward and coup de graces the gnome...except his blades go right through. It's an illusion. When he reaches the throne, a ghostly voice says "If you wish a meeting with the king, place your finest coin in my mouth," and the gnome king illusion re-appears. He searches the throne and finds a hidden compartment in the armrest containing 75 gp.


The others arrive and hear the ghostly message. Pimchi makes the unconscious skulk "pick up" a copper piece and put it in the gnome king's mouth. Immediately an angry voice shouts "Miser! What a paltry tribute! I curse you with clumsiness!" and a pulse of negative energy fills the room. Humphrey tries a silver piece and the same thing happens, and they find out it's a curse that gives Humphrey a -6 penalty to Dexterity. Horrified he puts in one of the citrines and is relieved to get a message saying he will be rewarded for his generosity, and the curse is removed.


Pimchi, Morate and Blaze go to open the north door, and Humprey, Ping Pong and Huron decide to open the south door.


The southern group finds what used to be an art gallery, with two rows of waist-height pedestals and a bunch of hooks on the walls for paintings. Ping Pong trips while exploring the room and knocks down a pedestal, which falls into the next one, etc. until a whole row is knocked over. While backing out of the way, Humphrey falls through a revolving secret door into a seemingly empty storage room. He searches around and finds by touch six large (4' x 3') paintings. He walks out and tells the others. Ping Pong goes through and once the door swings shut, sprays a bag of flour everywhere, coating EVERYTHING in flour. Outside, Huron and Humphrey see traces of flour drift out of the door frame. Ping Pong staggers out, Humphrey goes in and brings the paintings out, noting that as they leave the storage room they turn visible. He starts brushing them off. The paintings are: a castle, a dragon, an enormous green gem, clouds, a banana, and a fire elemental.


Meanwhile, the northern group open their door and are immediately surrounded by a grinding, clashing noise. They see a horse-sized automaton with two large spiked triangular spike-hands smashing a wall. Its torso is a large ovoid with a big circular opening in its "front" end. When the party opens the door, it stops smashing the wall and is still.


[dinner break...Shaun trades his hero point to corey for Corey's McDonald's fries.]


Pimchi rushes up and scoops up the unconscious skulk by the neck and junk and hurls it headfirst into the hole in the construct's front.




Corey: He was on his stomach, so I grabbed his wang.

It starts to whir and hum and smoke noisily. Pimchi then hurls an alchemist's fire into the hole, lighting the skulk on fire and scorching the metal. The automaton attacks, smashing the party and then trying to emit some sort of sonic attack from its front...except the now-dead skulk plugs the hole where the sound is emitting and deadens it. Pimchi had leapt up onto the construct's top side and was riding when this happened. Unfortunately for him, he was still tied to the now-dead, flaming skulk, which shot out of the automaton, pulling Pimchi with it. They both collided with Blaze. The party kept missing and glancing off the construct's metal surface, until Ping Pong (the others heard the noise and ran over) slid into the room in a cloud of flour, slashing a deep gouge into the construct's side and shouting something in Rokugan.

Blaze, translating for Ping Pong: That things looks like a big asshole! I want to stick my dick into it!

They finish off the automaton. Morate searches it and finds a deep blue gemstone inside it, through its sonic-beam hole. Humphrey then spends 20 minutes cutting off an arms, and then ties a rope to one of the shields found earlier to drag the heavy behind him. Also, Ping Pong spends 10 minutes dismantling an arm, then...leaves it on the floor by the exit door. Pimchi rips off a leg to use as a club??


They proceed down a hallway and spot another automaton. After a moment of caution, they see it is under construction and missing an arm and other parts. The floor is littered with metal debris and junk - it looks like an old metalworks shop. Ping Pong finds a bag of nuts and bolts.


Ping Pong and Blaze try to attach the arm Ping Pong had just removed from the first construct, onto the second one. Morate stays to watch while the the others proceed down another hallway to a 3 way intersection. Humphrey opens a door to find a semi-smashed, semi-usable alchemist's lab, with broken beakers and vials, an overturned table, and a pile of dirty rags on the floor. Across the hall, Pimchi cracks open the door and hurls in an alchemist's fire, killing four monstrous centipedes that were in the room. Huron proceeds down the hallway to check things out further, but is interrupted when...


...back in the automaton room, Morate spots a skulk that was hiding in the corner as it rushes forward to attack Blaze and Ping Pong. Morate notes that the skulk is wrapped in loose, dirty rags like a mummy. Morate summons a celestial badger to intercept the skulk. The badger bites it, and the skulk doesn't react at all, but the rags writhe and flutter about. The party attacks, with Humphrey, Pimchi and Huron arriving soon after. During the fight the rags separate from the skulk and attack Morate. The skulk seems confused, until it sees Morate and leaps forward, punching. Blaze knocks out the skulk using the flat of his greataxe, and they destroy the pile of rags.




They debate for a moment and decide to rouse the unconscious skulk. They converse with it and find out that the skulks are being forced to work for an "ugly dwarf" (uglier than Morate, the skulk points out) that lives "below" in the "citadel." This ugly dwarf, named Kazmojen, killed many skulks when he arrived, and now makes the skulks go kidnap people and bring them to some sort of lift, which brings the kidnapped people down. He also tells them that Stargloom is somewhere on this floor, and that the skulks are using it so the gnome wizard will help them by giving them keys to houses in Cauldron.


The party asks it if the skulks want to team up - save the kids and kill Kazmojen, solving both group's problems. The skulk says that they should talk to his leader, a skulk named Yothob. He says he will lead them to him. He asks them if they want the short way, which will mean a fight, or the long way. The party, who had been debating resting since Morate was almost out of spells, chooses the short way after asking what will have to be fought. The skulk says that they avoid one large room because of the "giant flying brain with tentacles" that lives there and has killed many skulks. Upon hearing this, Pimchi is excited. They go to the room he is talking about, and it is the room Huron was about to investigate before running back to fight the rags.


It is a large room with a 45 foot high ceiling, and a big wooden platform in the center of the room 25' above the ground. Above the platform just below the ceiling is a large 10' diameter wooden cog suspended by two ropes. The party doesn't see the brain thing, and the room is dark and gloomy.


Morate decides to summon a monkey on the edge of the platform, with instructions to "freak out" if it saw the monster. He mentally describes it to the monkey so it would know what it was looking for, guessing what it looked like from the skulk's vague description.




The monkey appears and instantly freaks the hell out, seconds before something huge swoops past and destroys the monkey. Blaze had readied a shot and shoots it as it flies by. They rush out but cannot spot it.


Pimchi dashes up to the platform, with the almost-dead skulk draped over his shoulder (much to everyone's horror). Eventually they lure it to the central platform, and as it flies around, pepper it with spears, arrows, and thrown greataxes. It flails away at the party with its ten tentacles but doesn't do very well. Humphrey throws a bola at its tentacles and binds three of them together. It starts hovering behind the cog to get some limited cover from the party's ranged attacks.


At one point Huron gets slapped by a tentacle and is paralyzed. However this doesn't last long because Blaze and Ping Pong both spend a hero point for Blaze to spin Ping Pong around like a hammer thrower and hurl him up at the monster, flying through the cog and attacking with his kusari-gamas. Ping Pong tries to embed both blades into it and swing up so he's on top; however only one blade hits so he ends up hanging underneath. The monster swoops down at Pimchi, however Ping Pong gets his opportunity attack and slashes right through the bottom jaw on its beak, which finishes it off. But it still crashes to the platform and slams Pimchi off to the floor.


Huron cuts off the rest of the beak and other party members remove tentacles. Humphrey makes a makeshift "tentacle whip" to...slap people with. The party rouses the now once again almost-dead skulk and they continue on.


They arrive in Yothob's room, and after a bit, they spot him standing immobile, watching them. They propose their partnership, and Yothob agrees, saying the skulks will not bother them, and he will return Stargloom to them when they show him Kazmojen's head as proof they have killed him. The party agrees. Yothob then adds that if they can solve a little problem for him, he will also reward them as best he can. He shows them that his skin is actually semi-translucent, and he doesn't know what is happening to him. The party assumes this is the Vanishing, but at this point have no real ideas on how to fix it.


Humphrey goes to a forge they passed by and starts working on turning four swords into a ...sword...shuriken, or something. Morate rests in the room. The return to the flying brain room and explore, finding a classroom, and a weaver's room. They find a secret room in the weaver's room and proceed into a hallway leading to another door, and almost fall through the illusion floor into a pit of dirty, scummy water. They cautiously investigate the water. Blaze lowers Huron down, who examines the water and finds that it is not hazardous. Meanwhile, Pimchi up above takes out the vial with the silvery dust he found earlier and starts to drink it. However as soon as he put it near his face he starts feeling dehydrated and weak and in pain. He takes a small amount of damage, which is actually enough to knock him out. Blaze hears a thump behind him and turns around to see Pimchi lying unconscious on the floor, clutching the still-full vial.


Huron pours half the vial (1 dose) of the dust into the water, which seems to disappear completely, leaving behind a small grey sphere the size of a marble. They wake up Pimchi and continue on. The door opens up into a small vault. They find some quart statues of shrews and an ivory/marble chess set, and some small pearls.


Experience points awarded: 1350
Hero Point awarded for "This thing looks like a big asshole!" quote to Tyson, especially because that wasn't actually what Ping Pong said, and Tyson made it up on the spot

Other random quotes:

Shaun: ACIDIC SPERM?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Morate: Why waste a torch when you have a femur?

C01SE02 - Investigating

Session 2 - Investigating

February 23, 2008 - The party investigates the kidnappings and ends up entering an ancient gnome city below Cauldron.


Picking up at the Church of Bahamut, the party is escorted by Jenya into a large room with many beds, an infirmary. It is empty except for a halfling nearby and a medium-sized figure at the far end of the room.


Upon seeing the halfing Morate says:


Morate: Finally I meet someone smaller than me!
Mike: ...in the pants!


The halfling's name is Ishmael, and Jenya introduces him as another concerned citizen who is going to investigate the kidnappings. They go to meet the other person, a human named Eastwood, but he is muttering bizarre things and they leave him alone.


Vargas says that he doesn't need to sleep, so he is going to go help the Church of Pelor in their recovery work. He leaves.


The next morning, they receive the Cauldron Chronicle and go talk to Jenya. She tells them about the kidnappings, and also that she sent the prisoner thug over to the guardhouse earlier that morning. They talk to her a bit and ask her some questions about the Stormblades, who she knows of slightly but not well. She approached them before about looking into the kidnappings, but they said they were "busy."


The party heads to the guardpost and speak to Skylar Krewis, who lets them into the cell area to question the two thugs/guards. They focus on the one with the wounded shoulder from the javelin, Nilas.


Huron steps forward and demands to know who the third person was, and the thug refuses. Eastwood responds by howling incoherent things and babbling, and Ishmael cracks his knuckles and mutters "Let me in there!" Nilas, now thoroughly intimidated, says that the other guy was a friend of theirs who is also in the guard. To help, Skylar pretends to have to leave, and "accidentally" drops his ring of keys. In reality he is around the corner, making sure the party doesn't cross the line.


They intimidate the man some more, and learn that all three guards were off duty at the Tipped Tankard when Jil approached them and offered them the money. They don't really find out anything new though. They try to convince Skylar to release the two men so the party can follow them, but Skylar says he can't, that they have to face trial for their crimes, and that the leader of the guards, Captain Skellerang would freak out if he freed them.


They leave. Skylar forgets to get the keys back...


Having read about the vandalism that took place in the warehouse district, they head there. A lone guard is there, as well as two painters who have covered most of the graffiti by now. They question the painters. They each have 2d6 int and the first has int 4. When they ask him "What was written on the walls here?" he replies: "UHH...I DON'T REMEMBER." The other guy (int 10) rolls his eyes and then tells them that as far as he can recall, these things were written:

Drakthar walks the night
This is our town too
Praise Drakthar
Snerk smells like dung



The guard nearby tells them that the warehouses had been broken into and vandalised but nothing of note taken. Just stuff smashed and broken. Didn't seem targeted. When the guard finds out what the party is doing, he asks if they have gone to the orphanage where the kids were kidnapped from yet.


Mike: Wharf. It's such a dumb word. Like puddle.

They go to the orphanage and knock on the door. An elderly halfling woman answers, and after checking to see who they are, lets them in. It is Gretchen, caretaker of the orphanage.


She tells them that no one heard anything when the children were taken, and the locks were cleanly picked, not broken. She says that she has the only set of keys to the orphanage. The windows, which have bars on them, were also unbroken. She tells them about the four children taken:

Deakon Stormshield, dwarf boy, equivalent of 6 years
Evelyn, human girl, 3 years
Lucinda, human girl, 7 years
Terrem, human boy, 5 years


Mike: Do you smell like dead meat, Corey? 

Eastwood has an idea. He goes out to the front door lock and tries all of the keys on Skylar's keyring, but none of them open the lock. The party can tell the locks are heavy duty and well made, not shoddy ones.


Since there are no no pets for Huron to talk to, he goes out into the courtyard to talk to kids and then climb up on the roof.


The others head up to the bedrooms to check things out. The boys share a large room, and the girls have a different room. They go into the room for boys. While searching one of the kidnapped boy's beds, Eastwood finds a simple keyring in the blankets. They search each boy's cubbyholes for personal belongings for any keys but find nothing,


They head back to the sitting room to discuss everything more. Someone sees a half-orc face looking in the window from the yard. Gretchen says it is only the janitor, but they all run outside.


Ishmael (while sprinting outside): Wouldn't the janitor have a set of keys??

Outside Artanis and Huron talk to a small boy for a few minutes. Huron is the one talking to the kid, so Artanis is bored and looking around. He sees the half-orc peering into the sitting room window, and heads over just as the others blow out the door.


There is a small girl playing in the dirt in front of the door. Each party member passes their reflex save to avoid her. Ishmael dives over her, Morate slows and weaves around her, Eastwood does a side roll to avoid her, and Jeppy just scoops her up.

They corner the half-orc, who is missing his left eye and has an eyepatch. They start questioning him about the keys, but he says that Gretchen has the only set of keys. He does his work during the day, and she locks everything at night.


Half-orc janitor: Who are you guys?
Eastwood: We're here to investig - I punch him in the stomach.

The janitor goes down, winded. Some kids see him on the ground and start a fuss and start crying, and asking what's wrong with Patch. The party tells them that he is just sick and his stomach hurts. A bunch of kids hug him (and he is too winded to speak) and they go back to playing.


Once he's breathing again, they question him why he was spying. He says that he was just hoping that the party were people who were going to adopt some kids, but the party can tell he's hiding something. After some intimidation, he admits that a man named Revus approached him some months ago and paid him 50 gold to keep an eye on Terrem, but now that Terrem has been kidnapped, he's worried. They head inside to continue talking.


Patch says that Revus, a human man who always wears two daggers and does tricks with them, just told him to watch over Terrem and make sure nothing happened to him. Patch was worried after Terrem was kidnapped, but doesn't know how to contact Revus, and hasn't seen him in weeks. They ask where Patch met Revus before, and he says always at a restaurant or tavern - like the Tipped Tankard or sometimes at the Slippery Eel.


The party also asks him if any of the kids have confided anything to him. Patch says one boy said he had a nightmare that night about a man in black stealing him away during the night. They go talk to this boy, named Bart, but he tells them basically the same thing - that a man in black floated in the window and picked him up, and together they floated out the window. That's all he remembers.


Artanis and Huron go to check out the Tipped Tankard, and the others head to the Slippery Eel. The Tipped Tankard is empty except for Pilok, who is passed out on the bar. Artanis spends a few minutes trying to break into the locked shelves of liquor.


The Slippery Eel has a few people inside eating a late lunch (it is late afternoon). The host greets them, they ask if they know a man named Revus. He doesn't, and the party has no further information to offer about him, so they don't know what to do. Ishmael walks in and starts asking one of the couples eating, but the host insist he not do that, unless of course he is going to buy a meal? They sit down and Ishmael orders the most expensive dish (50 gold), which is fresh imported oysters, aged elven brandywine, and an appetizer of gourmet fruits and cheeses. Morate orders a salad, Jeppy orders nothing, and Eastwood says he'll just eat off Ishmael's plate. The host remarks that he thinks the cook tosses scraps out to the dogs in the alley, if he'd prefer that. The sarcasm is lost on Eastwood and he leaves for the alley.


He walks in the kitchen entrance but is shooed out by the cooks.


Ishmael asks the couple next to them if they know a Revus. The man says no, do they know what business he's in? Someone says "child kidnapping." The other couple turns away and ignores them from that point on and sniffs down their nose at them, though when Ishmael's food arrives they shoot envious glances over at it.


The host comes by and they talk to him again, this time revealing that he likes daggers. The host says that there was a man there about a week ago who kept tossing the meat knife into the air and spinning it. He also stabbed little holes in the tablecloth while no one was looking. They ask to see it, the host takes them out back and shows them. They tell the host that if this man ever shows up again, to call the guards. The host says that they were already going to do this, because the man paid with the illegal jester coins, but they didn't notice until after he was gone.


The party hears some youths running through the streets that Jenya wishes to speak with them. They head back to the temple.


Jenya tells them what progress they've made. They say little. She tells them about a church relic that the head priest told her about before, which is locked away. Apparently it has the power to ask Bahamut for help, though it has the disadvantage of not always being a clear answer. They hustle to the back and she fetches it. She asks them what they should ask. The party debates asking about Revus, but decides it would be better to just ask outright about the kidnapped children. She goes to an altar and prays. A voice that is not hers says the following:


The locks are key to finding them,
Look beyond the curtain, below the cauldron,
But beware the doors with teeth.
Descend into the malachite 'hold,
Where precious life is bought with gold.
Half a dwarf binds them, but not for long.



The party debates this riddle. Huron jumps on the malachite clue and says they should go find Taskerhill, since he owns the mines outside of town. Jenya mentions though that they should proceed in order. The party decides to go see the town's locksmith, Keygan Ghelve, who has a shop on Lava Avenue.


They BLOW into the store. Keygan Ghelve, a gnome, surprises them because he is nearly six feet tall, though over three feet of that is legs. They assume he's using stilts. Ishmael, Jeppy and Eastwood walk in, see a curtained off back area, and push past Keygan to head there. The shocked Keygan starts protesting, but then Morate grabs his leg (revealing it is indeed a stilt) and yanks him to the floor.)


In the back room are three chests in the center of the room, a staircase leading up to a second floor with a balcony overlooking the curtained entrance, and a dresser full of keys. Eastwood starts searching the room, while Ishmael and Jeppy head upstairs.


Keygan starts sputtering and protesting. The others quote the riddle at him, but he doesn't understand and is getting mad. They also ask him who would be able to break through his locks by magic, but he says probably no one except Vortimax Weer, who operates Weer's Elixirs and is a powerful mage.


Ishmael and Jeppy find two rooms upstairs, one is a bedroom, the other is a kitchen/pantry with a fireplace. They head back down and go back to the entry room.


Eastwood tries the chests and realizes they are ones for customers to test out locks. He opens them all and finds a small silver bracelet in the last chest, tucked in the side as if it got snagged as someone withdrew their hand. He stands up, and happens to notice that the wood grain of the side of the staircase is mismatched in one spot. He heads back into the entry room just as Keygan is starting to yell for the guards. Eastwood pulls everyone to the back and says to Keygan "How do you explain ...THIS SECRET DOOR?!" and moves towards the door.


Keygan says clearly and distinctly "I don't know what you mean!" while gesturing frantically for Eastwood to stop, to not open the door. He doesn't listen. He opens it.


DM: How do you open the door?
Justin: I KICK IT and DO A BACKFLIP and READY MY GUN!!

Eastwood kicks open the door, revealing a staircase leading down. Everyone else sees a dark, cloaked form materialize on the balcony and leap down with a rapier to attack. Eastwood sees the movement out of the corner of his eye and manages to dodge, and the dark figure runs down the stairway. Ishmael sprints after him, catching up as the dark figure stops to toss the cloak aside, blending more effectively into the shadows. Ishmael grabs him and suplex-throws him back up the 10 feet of stairs, and the figure slams into Eastwood, who has drawn his chain and is rushing forward. They tumble to the floor in a heap.


Huron casts a spell that lets Eastwood act immediately, so Eastwood headbutts the dark figure in the face, breaking his nose. Keygan, being held upside down by Morate, starts casting a spell. Morate reacts by chucking the gnome towards the staircase, but Keygan doesn't make it all the way there and instead lands in a crash on the doorjamb, losing the spell. Jeppy rages and rushes forward, morningstar drawn. Eastwood sees him coming and ducks aside as Jeppy crushes the dark figure sideways into the wall, which sprays with blood. Ishmael runs back up (hearing the loud crash) and finishes off the figure with his kukri.


Eastwood walks over and picks up Keygan, who starts saying "Thank goodness you stopped him before he--" and then Eastwood headbutts him.


Moments later when Keygan regains his senses:


Eastwood: THAT SECRET DOOR!!!

They question Keygan about why was the figure (a skulk) in the store, and did he know about it? He tells them that yes he knew about them, that one night he woke up and they had come up through an old abandoned passageway to an ancient gnomish city underground. They took his rat familiar, Stargloom, hostage.

Artanis: You named your rat Stargloom? That's a retarded name! That's like naming your cock free willy!

They ask why there is a city UNDER another city. Keygan tells them that this gnomish city had to be abandoned because a strange plague called the Vanishing struck, which made those inflicted slowly start to disappear and eventually cease to exist. Keygan's father was just a boy when they had to flee, but he remembers that it was passed through the gnomes' magical items and spells.


They ask him how many others were there, Keygan responds that there were six that night. The party wants to head down immediately and destroy the others.


Keygan says that he has an old map his father gave him years ago and goes and fetches it. Ishmael tells Keygan he's coming with them.


Artanis says he has a plan and asks for ten minutes alone with the corpse. The others comply, and come back to find an exact duplicate of the dead skulk, wearing the dead skulk's rapier and light crossbow. They decide that Artanis will be disguised and try to sneak in and get the upper hand. (He explains to Eastwood and Ishmael that it is a magical spell that lets him disguise his form.)


They head down, it's about a 10 minute walk down a series of staircases. They come across a circular door shaped like a gear, or cog. The frame is metal and is the "teeth" of the gear. The center is wood and slides across. In the center of the wood is a brass plate and grooves in it, like something is supposed to be inserted. This door's center has been left ajar. The others hang back a bit, and Artanis slides it open...


Experience points awarded: 100
Summed up an INCREDIBLY frustrating session with some "Zing!". I like it! - Mike

C01SE01 - Laughs in the Alley

Session 1 - Laughs in the Alley

January 19, 2008 - The party arrives in Cauldron and makes their presence known.

Things start off at the Lucky Monkey Inn. Vargas and Jeppy arrive first, with Ogilvie. Ogilvie is exhausted so he immediately unloads his carpets and goes upstairs to sleep. Jeppy spots Morate eating alone at a table in the dining room. Jeppy walks up and cuffs him in the back of the head. Morate tries to throw his mug of ale over his shoulder but guesses the wrong shoulder and misses. As Jeppy picks on Morate a little longer, Huron, Artanis & Ankhin Taskerhill arrive. They enter just as Morate throws his plate of food at Jeppy. It misses, and the food hits Taskerhill right in the face, who falls back out of the inn in shock. Huron bends down and picks up the food (chicken leg) and eats it, and loves the taste.


Vargas buys Morate a new meal to cover the incident, in return Morate buys Vargas a drink. Vargas gives it to Jeppy, Jeppy gives it to Pig (who is under Jeppy's barrel) to get Pig drunk. Vargas attempts to pay for the meals with the jester coins he looted from the dead thugs that attacked them on the way to the Lucky Monkey, but the innkeeper, Nather, points out the jester stampings and comments that he's never seen coins like this before. Vargas apologizes and pays with regular coin.


After they calm down, Taskerhill leaps in, wondering if there's going to be a bar brawl. Vargas steps up and says he is the one who threw it; Taskerhill looks up at him, raises an eyebrow and says "I accept your humble apology," and walks past Vargas to the bar. Vargas says to Huron and Artanis that he is sorry for the incident, and Taskerhill tosses back over his shoulder "I already told you I accept your apology!"


Nather asks for some interesting world stories to pay for the meals and board. Artanis volunteers and tells an awful story about tracking some thieves/cultists down a well. Nather doesn't seem impressed, until Artanis throws in some candles for free. Nather douses all the lights and the rest of the night is lit only by candlelight.


They meet Shensen, a drow bard. They are suspicious at first and question her, but they (for the most part) believe her story about running away from her murderous homeland. She starts playing a lute in the corner of the room, and everyone feels relaxed and healthy. Artanis however challenges her to a banjo-playing contest and rushes outside to start building one. It takes him four hours. Meanwhile, everyone introduces themselves. Eventually Artanis comes crashing back into the inn, interrupting the music and making everyone look at him. He says that the contest is about to start...and it's who can play WORSE. Shensen rolls her eyes but says fine, go ahead. He goes to play his first note and the entire banjo he's just created falls apart completely in his hands, instantly. She laughs, summons a banjo, plays a single note, and then says that she won, since he didn't even get a note out. Artanis shouts that he'll challenge her again, this time to a flute playing contest. He runs outside to start building it.


Vargas and Morate bond outside over...whatever. Vargas also crafts a crude flute, which at least makes noise, which is better than Artanis's stick that does nothing. Huron and Jeppy bond inside over Pig, who is sloshed. Because Huron is a druid, Pig seems to really like Huron. Jeppy gets overprotective and kind of pulls Pig away from Huron.


Shaun (as Jeppy, to Pig): THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET DRUNK!!


Artanis comes back in and challenges Shensen again, and fails. He passes out from exertion and Huron drags him to their room.


The next day Huron & Artanis see Jeppy in daylight and realize they're all from the same town/know of each other. Morate joins up because he sifts some soil into the wind and it points to Cauldron. (What a coincidence!)


When they are leaving, they spot the troupe of baboons again, 30 of them. Huron wants to use speak with animals and find out why they're staring at them, but the party eventually decides not to. They head to Cauldron.


When they arrive, Taskerhill leaves after paying Huron and Artanis 12 gp each. Ogilvie leaves as well, says he'll be staying at the Drunken Morkoth Inn, and tells Vargas and Jeppy that if they ever need carpets, to look him up.


They go the Church of Pelor, where they find Kristof busily rummaging through the wreckage and salvaging an item here and there. Some townsfolk are helping him. Morate goes around back to inspect the rubble to determine if it was a natural collapse. Artanis starts chatting with the townsfolk, and finds out that a woman named Coryston Pike was worried about being kidnapped (and later was), and that Gryffon Malek and Krylscar Endercott, two other kidnapping victims, knew each other. They used to go drink together at the Tipped Tankard, a tavern near the lake streets.


The others talk to Kristof, and come to the conclusion that the Church of the Raven Queen is probably behind the collapse. Kristof says he doesn't like the Wee Jas clerics, but doesn't think they would really do something like that. He does mention how the Raven Queen church keeps trying to buy the land owned by the Church of Pelor, because they want to expand. Morate returns and tells Kristof he thinks the collapse wasn't natural.


Morate: It doesn't look like a natural collapse.
Kristof: How can you tell?
Mike: I'm a fricking dwarf!"
Shaun: ...BITCH!


They help him scavenge until nightfall. They actually want to stay and help him rebuild the church, but he tells them it will be at least another week before they're even done salvaging and organizing what can be saved; after that, they have to start surveying and the whole rebuilding process. Vargas makes an architecture check and tells Kristof that the first thing they need to do is test the remaining arches and supports to make sure they can handle a new roof. Kristof says that should they ever need a place to rest, he's set up some cots inside the lobby for people who need shelter at night.


The party decides to go to the Tipped Tankard, to ask about Gryffon and Krylscar. The tavern is located right on the shore of the lake. On their way there, they hear the sounds of someone being attacked in an alley. They see a man in cleric's robes being beaten by three attackers.





They rush to his defense, and see that the three men are all wearing facepaint looking like a harlequin face. They defeat the men easily (burning hands, spear to the shoulder, Jeppy trapping one under a barrel). The one not speared and not barreled quickly surrenders. Vargas, who hadn't done anything yet, spots a woman in dark leather hiding up on the second story. When he points her out, she glares at him and says "The cleric lives because we wish it so, not because of your actions!" She then points to the cleric and says "Take these words back to your temple, priest! The children are lost and are no longer Bahamut's concern."


She then tries to climb to the roof and escape. However, Huron spears her, Artanis magic missiles her, and Jeppy spends a hero point to hurl his giant morningstar at her, and it CRUSHES her. She almost falls off the wall, but it is clear she is using a Spider Climb spell to stick on. Blood sprays all over the wall and she limply manages to drag herself to the rooftop and escape. Meanwhile, the uninjured thug legs it down the alley. The one who had been trapped under the barrel freed himself when Jeppy threw the morning star, and he rises up, sees what's going on, and then surrenders. They hear guards coming, so they stuff the guy back into the barrel to interrogate later. The guards arrive, about a dozen, led by a young captain named Skylar Krewis. He questions them, but recognizes the cleric, whose name is Rufus. He is a member of the Church of Bahamut. They listen to his summary of things. He kneels down to inspect the one remaining thug (the speared in the shoulder one) and recognizes him as Nilas, a member of the town guard. This makes the party very suspicious about the other guards, and they watch them closely. However, nothing happens, so after some more small talk, the guards leave with Nilas. Skylar tells the party that they intend to interrogate Nilas at the barracks, and if they want to find out what he said, stop by there later and ask for Skylar.


Afterwards, they ask Rufus what he was doing, and he tells them that there has been a terrible string of kidnappings lately, and a few nights ago four children were kidnapped from the Lantern Street Orphanage. He was trying to talk to the orphanage headmistress to find out more, but she was busy and asked him to come back tomorrow. On his way back to the church, he was pulled into the alley and attacked.


The party then interrogates the last thug, who says that they weren't going to kill Rufus, they were just hired to rough him up a little by Jil, the woman who was hiding up the wall. When asked if they were members of the Last Laugh, he says no, they just wore the facepaint because Jil told them to. He tries to explain that he just needed the money, but the party wasn't having any of that.


Hired Thug: Please, I needed the coin! I've got a wife and three kids!
Artanis: Or is that three wives and one kid?!


He says that he will go turn himself in, but instead they tie him up, gag him and stuff him in the barrel again.


They head off to the Tipped Tankard first, explaining to Rufus that maybe there will be clues to both Gryffon/Krylscar's kidnappings and those of the children.


Inside are 2 drunks passed out at the bar, a fat, dumb, slovenly bartender named Pilok, and a chef cleaning the tables. They ask the bartender about Gryffon and Krylscar, but all he knows is that they used to come in lots but they haven't come in in a while. They try talking to the chef, a human man named Artem, who confirms this but can add little more. He does say that he has heard it's a band of halfling rogues behind it, something he doubts. When asked about the kidnapped children, he mentions that one of the abducted children, a young dwarf child named Deakon Stormshield, is fairly well known to the community. His parents, Dwern and Imogen Stormshield, were goodly adventurers and were nice to everyone, but they didn't come back after an adventure/mission once. Ever since (1-2 years) Terrem has been in the orphanage. It's one of Cauldron's sad stories that everyone seems to know about. When they mention the jester coins, he says they look familiar, maybe he's seen them here? When he finds out they're fake he urges them not to tell Pilok, as he would be mad and probably not pay him. Vargas TRIES to tell him but Pilok is too dumb, and actually challanges Vargas to a drinking contest. Vargas just waits until Pilok lifts his mug, then tosses his on the ground and pretends to have fallen off his stool drunk. Pilok chortles and say he likes that.


They escort Rufus back to the Church of Bahamut. He returns shortly to them with Jenya, a cleric of Bahamut. She begins to ask them to help about the kidnappings, but they reveal that they still have the one thug in the barrel. She is surprised and shocked that they aren't letting him go turn himself in like he said he was going to, but agrees that he probably can't be trusted to do so. She says that the church will take responsibility for him and bring him personally to the guards tomorrow. The party lets Rufus and a few other acolytes take the thug away. Jenya asks the party to help with the kidnappings. The party agrees, but asks that she tell them all about it tomorrow as they are exhausted. Jenya says by all means and invites them to spend the night in the safety of the church.


Jenya: I can see you gentlemen know how to handle yourselves.
Shaun: (bursts into uncontrollable laughter)
Experience points awarded: 120
Hero Point awarded for "fricking dwarf!...bitch!" quote to Mike and Shaun

Cauldron Chronicle - Issue 01

The Cauldron Chronicle - Issue 01

Orphans Latest Victims as Kidnappings Continue

In the latest kidnapping incident in Cauldron, four orphan children were taken from the Lantern Street Orphanage two nights ago. Just like the previous kidnapping incidents, there was on apparent sign of forced entry, and no substantial clues were found at the scene of the crime. Watch Captain Skylar Krewis was overheard discussing multiple size footprints on the scene, but given the nature of the building (an orphanage) this may mean nothing.

Despite Captain Skellerang’s assurances that the city guard is working diligently to find the missing persons, Cauldron’s citizens are beginning to worry that there are nefarious forces at work in and around the city, and speculation is rampant. A survey of local citizens produced the following thoughts on the matter:

"My neighbor saw small dark figures running through the streets at night - I've heard it's a secret guild of Halfling rogues that's been responsible for the kidnappings!"

"Coryston Pike, one of the kidnapped victims, feared for her life days before she vanished. Coincidence? I think not!"

"I heard that one of the kidnapped kids is the bastard child of the Lord Mayor, and this is all a big cover-up!"

"Evil cultists are kidnapping people and sacrificing then to an evil god who has two heads and tentacles for arms!”

"It's not kidnappers at all! It's a magical disease that causes people to slowly disappear and vanish from existence. The same thing wiped out the gnomes of Gnomeregan around here years ago!"

Captain Skellerang denies rumors of an evil cult that has taken residence in Cauldron and is sacrificing kidnap victims to the Morkoth, the legendary creature rumored to live in Cauldron Lake. "Hogwash!" states Captain Skellerang. "The Morkoth is a child’s story, not some fantasy cult. We'll find the real culprits."

One fact remains clear amidst the confusion - Cauldron's locksmith Keygan Ghelve is one of the finest in the world at his craft. It would take a talented thief or magic-user to get past his locks.


Tragedy Strikes the Church of Pelor
Omar Tiskinsen and Avner Sunborn, both clerics of Pelor, were tragically killed two weeks ago when the roof of the church collapsed during the night due to a terrible storm. Kristof Jurgenson, the only other member of the church, was not caught in the collapse. Captain Skellerang and other guards arrived on the scene shortly after the accident, but unfortunately were not able to rescue the two elder priests, despite powerful healing spells from the Church of St. Cuthbert's head priest Sarcem Delasharn. At the Lord Mayor's suggestion, Kristof sent a messenger to the Church of Pelor in the nearby town of Paradise, requesting aid.


Stormblades Vanquish Kobold Threat, Rescue Redgorge Girl
Cauldron's most prominent group of young heroes proved their valor again last week, routing a nearby band of kobolds who attacked a caravan and kidnapped a young girl from nearby Redgorge. The brave adventurers, who are all from Cauldron, risked life and limb to rescue the girl, and despite facing ferocious traps and being sorely outnumbered, scattered the cowardly lizards with their tails between their legs. "For adventurers of our skill, it was challenging but nothing we couldn't handle," said their leader Annah Taskerhill, upon returning the girl safely to Redgorge. The entire region once again owes a huge debt to the Stormblades, as the kobolds undoubtedly had other vile schemes planned. The Stormblades frequently visit the Slippery Eel tavern - why not stop by and buy these heroes a drink or two?


Jester Coins Not Legit!

Despite frequent warnings and notices from the Lord Mayor's office, illegally minted coins are still circulating throughout town. The fake coins can easily be identified by the jester face minted on each side, instead of the Lord Mayor's official seal. The Mayor's office reminds citizens that using these coins to pay for goods or services is punishable by a 5 gp fine. The fraudulent coins may be turned in to the city barracks or at the town hall. City officials firmly deny any link between the jester coins and the Last Laugh.


New Tax Plan Unveiled
The Lord Mayor's office has announced an upcoming change in the tax code, the first change in over 15 years. On top of the usual tariffs on goods imported from other lands, the city will now be introducing a fee on luxury items, including delicacy meals, ornate jewelry and art, and other non-essential items. The extra funds will go towards improving the city guard. Some wealthier citizens were displeased with the announcement, but given the recent safety and security issues (see "Orphans Latest Victims as Kidnappings Continue" above), few can argue with the plan.


Preparations Underway for Flood Festival
Preparations have begun for the annual Flood Festival and Demonskar Ball! Will this be the year that someone dethrones Chancellor Alahind as champion of the Drink Down The Flood competition? Be sure to reserve your costumes in advance! Rokk Strongarm, high priest of the Temple of Kord, also said that there will be a series of athletic and sporting competitions this year, so start training!


Vandals Leave Their Mark Again

Another warehouse was broken into last week and its exterior defaced with a variety of crude graffiti. As with previous incidents, the graffiti was mostly bizarre and incoherent, though the word Drakthar appeared multiple times. The incident is the third time in the last month, and business owners are not happy. The City Guard says that these acts of vandalism are a nuisance but not something that is a serious concern. It is not known if these incidents are related to the kidnapping of over a dozen of Cauldron's populace recently.

Cagewrights Plans: Start of Chapter 4

Start of Chapter 4:

Orbius & the Cagewrights - their overall goal is still to:
• capture Terrem, Zenith, etc
• use them in a ritual that will free Levistus
• Free Levistus!

One of their lieutenants, Triel, had her own idea about flooding the city and causing thousands of deaths in Levistus' name to release him. (Whose lieutenant was she?)

The Cagewrights were skeptical, and had personal reasons for not really wanting this to happen (low ranking member upstaging them, etc.) However they let her do it because if she succeeded the end result would be Levistus free, which they did all want.

Now that she has failed (they aren't surprised) they are returning to their original plan. For this, they need Zenith, who is missing. Orbius, their local connection, figures to get two birds with one stone by hiring the Stormhammers to do it.
- Test their true abilities
- If they fail, oh well, less interference from heroes in the future
- If they succeed, the Cagewrights still get Zenith and now they know a lot about the Stormhammers' abilities

Orbius is going to use the Umber Hulk attack as an "excuse" to hire the Stormhammers, and he is also using it as a way to weaken another potential snag, Maavu.

After Session 10 - Here Comes Halfling Death

This sessions was a pain in the ass to pre-plan, as the number of players has increased AGAIN. Now Corey is back playing. It made it hard to plan encounters because at first Mark was in, then he was out, and Dale was out, then in. So the number of PCs varied from 6-8 before we even began. Then in the actual session, where we had Shaun, Jamie, Justin, Mike, Cam, Dale and Corey, Cam had to leave, and then Corey had to leave. So the party went from 7 to 5.

Went with the no-roll for inits for enemies, probably just easiest to keep doing it this way.

They kind of meandered during the investigation phase. The book was actually pretty unclear of where to go on this. They found out a bit about Triel, and found out her appearance and traits and stuff...but I'm not sure how that was supposed to lead into finding the lava tube entrance. Eventually I had an anonymous note left at the Tipped Tankard for them. (actually from Artem, who isn't charging them for his services because he likes them and because Huron gave him a Demonskar Ball invitation.)

Discovered unfortunately that I was on completely the wrong side of the battlemap to start drawing the ruins. So we had to switch sides. Another annoying thing is how each square on the ruins map is 10 feet, not 5 feet...making drawing maps that much harder. (Also, doors are 10 feet wide?? This is weird.)

The battlemat itself is awesome. After the session I drew out more of the dungeon and rolled it up and it was fine. One thing I need to remember is to have an actual rag or erasing tool other than just random kleenex. I will try paper towel next time I guess.

The Skaven/Bronze Warder fight was surprisingly hard. The Bronze Warder's AC was simply too high. AC 25 is just too hard to hit.

One thing I should look up a bit more thoroughly is flanking rules, as in what squares actually qualify as flanking squares. There was a bit of confusion. Also, we really need to do up cards for Dale's and probably Corey's powers. Or do up a sheet...actually I will just do that.

After Session 9 - Baboons and Bandits

Session 9 - Baboons and Bandits

The session was chaotic with a full 6 (then later 7) players: Shaun, Jamie, Justin, Mark, Mike, Cam, and later Dale.

There was too much off-topic talking.

Didn't roll initiative for any enemies, just gave them 10 + their init mod. Worked fine except for the Human Rabble minions - with an Init bonus of +0, they were almost always killed before they got a turn. Maybe roll normally for minions?

Immediately the party split upon entering the Lucky Monkey, with Mike, Shaun and Jamie scaling up to the 2nd floor. The fight with the giant mob of bandits in the main barroom thus broke out with only Justin, Cam and Mark there - two casters and no real front-line fighters. To make matters worse, upstairs Shaun split from Mike and Jamie. Mike and Jamie headed for the stairs - which was close enough to trigger the "Tongueater support" encounter with 2 Last Laughs, a Gnoll Huntmaster and a Tiefling Heretic, and Shaun wandering through the halls was set to be ambushed by Revus and a few others, including a Bugbear Strangler.

Solved this by having Mike and Jamie make their way down unscathed, and Shaun fall through the floor when Cam threw a lightning-ball in the main room, destroying the ceiling.

The Revus encounter also went unused, since they never did explore the guest rooms. So instead had Revus come out and harry Shaun and Jamie when they were shooting down into the courtyard. He failed to do anything of note at all, fumbling and then getting taken down by Dale's hero point-powered 2nd floor chokeslam.

The Tongueater fight was anticlimactic as I didn't have the gnoll and tiefling and rogues support him. It was getting too late and I thought they would make the fight take too long. This was true; it would have, but at the same time the fight was kinda blah as a result. He delayed his inevitable death a bit by screeching and hitting all but Dale and Jamie, but really he didn't do much.

The printed out maps is a good idea, and it was good having a two-level encounter grid to interact with (especially in the courtyard which had PCs and enemies on multiple floors and in different rooms!)

Having two sheets of monster statistics didn't work very well. I was constantly flipping papers back and forth to look up ACs, hit points, etc.

NEXT TIME: Have pre-printed encounter sheets with numbers down the side for Initiative, with the monsters pre-rolled for Init (or using 10), and their hp/bloodied amount.

They took one prisoner, a female bandit (not a member of the Last Laugh). Haven't decided what she will know - probably nothing other than she was hired, she's a street thug, etc. Was hired directly by Triel so can describe her physically. Incidentally the party assumes Triel is a man at this point.

Established Alahind more as a friend to the party by having him pay for and arrange the teleport to the Lucky Monkey, and also by having him give Cam and Justin Demonskar Ball invites after they returned. This avenue is going perfectly so far.

Nothing with the Stormblades this session, though Dale did mention inviting Cora to the ball, and Mike got mad when he realized the Stormblades didn't need the invites they would have received had they won any of the Flood Festival contests.

Everyone liked their treasure items, though there was some minor squabbling when Jamie took Shaun's Flameburst +2 handcrossbow, and Dale took Jamie's Gloves of Flaying. It all worked out fine in the end but maybe there needs to be some kind of system.

Generic treasure (on a small printed handout) also worked well, as everyone got to see what the party got, and they got to take it with them in an easy, quick sheet.